SEAGULLS LOVE RUBBISH

I love nature and wild creatures but its so hard to love seagulls when you live by the sea. Especially on a Tuesday.
Tuesday is rubbish collection day and people put bags out on the pavement when they go out
to work. Seagulls know this. As soon as one bag is spotted the call goes out "Come on down guys and let's see what's on the menu!" They circle, they swoop, they strut about screeching while one of them attacks the plastic bag - it only takes a well-aimed peck or two and the contents are spilled all over the street. There are no secrets anymore - we know how many plastic bags they throw away each week at Nº6 and how many cans of strong lager the chap in the upstairs flat doesn't bother to separate out for recycling. We know who throws out their bills unopened and so many other things we didn't want to know about our neighbours.
By lunchtime the seagulls will have devoured anything they can eat and the wind will have picked up the empty plastic bags and blown them into the trees - the tin cans roll about noisily on the street until crushed by a passing car. The lorry comes along eventually and the heroic 'binmen' jump out with brooms and sweep up what's left and the seagulls move away to another street where the bins are collected on a different day. And so it goes.